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A broken heart

If he leaves, i have none.







If he goes

I have no one to talk to

To share the stories

To share the laugh

To share the love

To share the dreams.


If he walks away

I’ll stay

With memories and love that we shared

Remember his smile, his laugh, his anger, his movement, his forehead, his lips.

I will stay with you. In my dream. In my mind. In my heart.

I will stay.

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For you, F

It is ok. I will be ok. I love you deeply. I love you sincerely. I know we will not together at the end. I never hope that we can be together even though i always dream about it.

Just enjoy the path, my dear, before we take separate ways. I always love you. You will be in my heart forever. I always remember you. I will always remember the smile, the forehead (i love it the most), the lips, everything

You will see my cry for the last time. You will see me smile for the last time. As i will inspect every inch of you for the last time. I will never come to you after we agree to separate. I will try not to call you, text you or looking for you. I will disappear.

You will be here, in my heart. Never leave.

I do hope you will be happy with the girl that you will find later on. Hope she takes care of you, always be with you, never talk harsh to you, love you unconditionally. As i am no longer do it for you.

You are the best thing in my life. You give me hope that someone out there love me

Love you love you love you…

Till that time… When you agree to separate and take our own path. Love you…

Never think about me anymore. Forget me. I never exist for you.

Until that time, my dear, we cherish every moment, enjoy our togetherness, love the love that we have.

Love you….

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I haven’t start yet. I am scared. I know i have to face it anyway. I can feel the lump getting bigger and sometimes it hurts. I need to take care of myself at some points but i am scared.

I have no one. No mom, no dad, no husband and no kids. I am alone. I have friends and relatives but they are not so close.

I have no one to talk to and cry. A feeling of someone close will be nice.

Why… Why… Why….

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When you have tumor on your right breast and leison on your left ankle.

So i have to sleep on my back and could not move on my side.

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Pasrah itu….

Pasrah itu saat lo tau ga ada jalan lain dan menerima semua yang terjadi.

Pasrah itu saat semua usaha sudah dikerahkan dan tinggal menerima semua yang akan terjadi.

Pasrah itu saat ga lagi ngomel dengan semua kejadian.

Pasrah itu….

Jujur, gw takut…

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I have no child of my own. I never married and the possibility to get married is very low.

This afternoon, i had video call with my nephews, 9 and 7 years old.

Feel so warm and loveable.

They are not my kids and i hardly get used to the kids. Kidless life is an option that i have to take.

But still, i can feel the love for them.

So when they asked me when will i ger married, i told them too find one who love me and love them as well.